I like Sundays. Always have really. That’s not entirely unusual of course – most people like Sundays… but often Sundays are tinged with a feeling of impending doom, knowing that Monday is coming tomorrow. But since being at uni, my timetables have generally be fortunate enough as to allow me to avoid Monday morning, and so Sundays have taken on a more blissful meaning than they used to have!
Since beginning to spend most of my time at my boyfriend’s flat Sundays have meant going home to see my mum (though I have to go back in the week to see my littlest siblings as Sundays are the day they spend with their dad)… and my dog. I miss my dog lots, though he seems to be much more excited about my boyfriend coming over than me, bloody thing. *grumble grumble* Today I’m going over to see my mum and her boyfriend, walk the dog maybe, get my hair cut (with some luck and a lot of “Oh, please!”s!) and collect some things to bring back to the flat, though I’m going to have to be quite selective about what I bring back as there is only a limited amount of space at the flat. I’ve not even brought back a tenth of my book collection (not even counting the stuff that’s in the attic!) and the shelf is already about to cave in!! When I get a place of my own I have but two demands, the first being a library! (The second is a kitten….)
I don’t think it’s helped that I’ve bought so many books for uni. Yes, I refer once again to the dreaded book-list. It has been preying on my mind this week rather a lot as I consider how to tackle it. I’ve started the two books that I have to read for the first week, which is something at least, and am now contemplating whether to start more so I’ve at least read a bit of them by the time the lecture comes around and I am, somewhat inevitably, grossly under-prepared.
I’ve also been reading things I really shouldn’t be considering how much reading is actually compulsory: namely, C. S. Lewis’s ‘The Allegory of Love’ and Langland’s ‘Piers the Ploughman’. It’s just that medieval literature and culture holds much more interest to me than the Victorian equivalents. This is wonderful in that I actually have something that I could gladly study and not get tired of, but pretty rubbish in that we don’t do anything before 1540 on the course at Falmouth. I didn’t know this upon applying and as I applied through clearing I wouldn’t have had a choice even if I did know but it still makes me sad that we’re not going to study as a class and with a little bit of help something I love to study and may actually need a little bit of help with. Medieval literature and history is not something that you can that easily study on your own (it’s possible but it’s fairly heavy going) and some help really wouldn’t go amiss, especially as I want to study it at postgrad and so need a fair amount of knowledge before I apply. Some of the people on the Exeter English course have directed me to their lecturers with phrases like “They’re really nice and they won’t mind, honest” but Exeter lecturers are used to dealing with people who are extremely intelligent and besides, as far as Exeter are concerned most of the time UCF students are a lower species.
It’s times like this when I wish that my lecturers were a bit more approachable. When I was in college all any of our lecturers said was that when we got to uni we’d have lecturers who would treat us as equals and would be eager to help us learn, friendly and approachable. In all honesty I imagined them a bit like my college lecturers, most of whom I could go to with any problem, even one that wasn’t academic, and they’d listen and help wherever they could. Even when I got into UCF my mum went on and on about how Falmouth had a good reputation for pastoral care and my friends who’d done other courses there raved about how their lecturers were basically their friends and how they thought they were amazing.
Though my lecturers are undoubtedly smart and know their subjects, there is only one (maybe two) that I would consider truly approachable. I talk to lots of people when I’m at uni: I chat to the barstaff at the Stannery, I’m mates with some of the cleaners, the CSM lecturers know my through my mum and always say hello, I’ll happily sit and chat to the catering staff any day, one of the library staff has become one of my best friends and in any case all the library people are wonderful people, some of whom I’ve sat in a room and cried at even and they’ve not even batted an eyelid. But I couldn’t imagine sitting and having a chat with most of my lecturers, about anything, let alone telling them my problems or crying in front of them – I get worried enough having to approach one of them over something necessary and academic. And it strikes me that that’s not really the way it should be.
I mean, maybe that’s just my experience of it, maybe other students find our lecturers the most friendly and helpful people in the world. But when everything was building up to our presentations and I couldn’t stop worrying about it the last people I would have considered spilling my worries to were my lecturers. Even though people were telling me to go to them I just couldn’t face it: I couldn’t be sure they’d be supportive or tell me off for even considering coming to them… or, in some ways the worst scenario, telling me there was nothing they could do and they were going to have to drop my mark for my lack of fluency whatever. I’d rather find that out after than before if it was so, so I decided I just would. If I’m scared of my lecturers, on my head be it.
Happiness and Light,