Not-Nursery Rhymes: Monday’s Child

I am quite bored, okay? So fecking about with Nursery Rhymes it is.

Monday’s Child is fond of bass
Tuesday’s Child’s a hopeless case
Wednesday’s Child is full of shit
Thursday’s Child is not a hit
Friday’s Child is just so-so
Saturday’s Child has an extra toe
And Sunday’s Child says he’ll go to heaven
– It’s what you get if you clone one kid into seven.

Not-Nursery Rhymes: Little Boy Blue

I like nursery rhymes. And I like playing with them. And so, here is my own version of Little Boy Blue.

Little boy blue
Won’t blow on his horn
But sits at the window
Looking out at the corn
That sways in the breeze
On a backdrop of trees
In the noontime – he slept through the morn.

Little boy blue
Plays music no more:
It brings him no joy
While his soul is at war.
Instead a small sigh
Is the sound he lives by,
Though he doesn’t know what he sighs for.

Little boy blue,
Please darling, don’t cry
– Let’s go to the meadow
And sit, you and I.
And know it’s okay
To feel sad, or dismay:
Just remember that it will pass by.

Ten Reasons I’m gutted I’m not doing the Edinburgh Fringe this year.

(This post is the original of an article I wrote for the Student Journals.)

 

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I’m not going to the Edinburgh Fringe this year. The biggest arts festival in the world and the biggest comedy event of the year and I’m not doing a show because I have to save up for a stupid PhD.

Stupid PhD.

Still, doesn’t stop me venting my woes on here for everyone to see, so here we go: Ten reasons I’m really annoyed that I can’t be there – some of which will tell you why you utterly should be there.

Continue reading

An Open Letter to Michael Gove, Education Secretary.

Dear Mr Gove,

It has been a busy month for education so far – September always is. Particularly in my house as me and my family are now in all levels of education: my littlest sister in primary, my brother in secondary, my sisters in further, me in higher and my mum is an academic. We are an education household, if you will. We are all into different subjects and despite being the same family we all have very different educational needs. And so the fact that all of us have, are or will be in some way being failed by your persistent and sweeping changes in education policy  and, for want of a better phrase, “the system” in general is pretty telling. Continue reading